In astrology, Mars is the planet most connected with anger, but Mars in and of itself doesn't create anger. Its position in the birth chart shows the places where we're moved to protect what is important to us, including some of our illusions. Nothing makes us madder than some darned fool telling us the truth!
If we grew up in dysfunctional families, in order to survive our upbringing, we learned to be highly sensitive, reactive, and always on the alert for a threat to the status quo. Thus, we tend to be easily wounded by even the gentlest reminder of the shortcomings of ourselves, our families, or other codependent ties. We may react with rage to even the most constructive of criticisms. In order to protect our denial, we may go so far as to sever relationships with people who are unwise enough to rock the boat with the facts. (No one said we were easy to live with!)
Anger is the guard dog of denial. In some cases, the denial is so strong or the ego so vulnerable that anger is a pit bull. Do you resent people who puncture your illusions, threaten your denial about your own or loved one's addictions or destructive behaviors, or make you face up to your shortcomings? Do you respond by closing down, running away, or cutting off the relationship? If so, you short-circuit your own growth and deny yourself real intimacy with others, an intimacy based on mutual honesty.
Anger keeps the past alive. Family difficulties that created a painful childhood are often present when the outer planets are strong in the 10th, 4th, or 1st houses. In the course of our lives, we who come from dysfunctional families have had many causes for anger. Terrible things may have happened to us and to other family members because of our parents' problems. As adults, because many of us didn't know how to assert ourselves, we may play out the victim role. Our conditioned reaction patterns can leave a trail of broken relationships.
Anger may be all we have left to connect us to a family member, an old lover, or a former friend. By continuing to hold on to it, we keep the relationship alive and current, at least in our own minds. We make that person or incident very important in our lives and give them enormous power. We'd like to believe we're still as important to them--not accepting that they may barely think of us at all any more.
The more energy we invest in the past in the form of anger, the less energy we have available for more intimacy and a better life today. It's like putting a militia to work guarding a cemetery, when the same labor force could have built a new road. Are you wasting energy on anger at someone or something else, when you could be building a future for yourself? Isn't that just another way to take the focus off yourself? Rehashing old war stories may even be a ruse for avoiding facing intimacy. When you're angry, it may help to ask yourself the following questions:
How do I use anger to protect my denial?
Am I willing to let go of anger about things that happened in the past so I can build a better life for myself today?
Am I willing to give up Being Right in order to be happier?
Mars is the planet of energy and of action. When we go through periods of continuous anger--days and nights when the same rageful thoughts churn over and over in our minds--this is a clear signal from the Higher Self that we need to take action. We need to DO SOMETHING about the condition that is making us uncomfortable. Anger is the body-mind's way of mobilizing against a threatening, frustrating, or adverse situation. It motivates us to change something in our lives. Often, the needed change involves the quality of our key relationships.